The Outlaw and The Hacker
by Squidman Jones
Summary: The first chapter so far. Sombra is sought after by a bounty hunter but they find themselves at an impasse.


In a small, secluded bar just outside of Dorado, in the heart of Los Muertos territory, a hooded figure walked in and plopped down on a barstool. The figure threw back her hood to reveal a head of dark hair with purple highlights shaved clean on the sides. The barkeep saw her and walked over to greet her.

"Hola Sombra!" said the plump man behind the bar "Back again to drown your work?"

"Shut up Antonio" said Sombra "I can drown it without your input you know."

The portly man chuckled and said "Suit yourself amiga. Three shots of snake juice, coming right up".

About halfway into her second shot, the door swung open and a tall man wearing a red serape sauntered in and placed himself opposite of Sombra. He had wild brown hair and a poorly kept beard. On his head he wore a battered and bent cowboy hat under which his eyes were hidden.

"So you're the assassin who's signal i've been picking up for two days now eh?" Sombra said.

The man replied "Yep, that's probably me, they told me you'd see me coming."

Sombra chuckled.

"They also told me you get fully loaded here on a bi-weekly basis" added the man "so with a few shots in ya I bet i'm the hot hand in this situation.

Sombra nodded and said "That's true but that mechanical hand of yours will probably kill you too if you shoot me."

The gunslinger looked down at his prosthetic arm and noticed it was now glowing a faint shade of purple. He groaned took his real hand away from the holster.

"Well shit. Now what." he said, clearly perturbed.

"I say we drink. You won't kill me, and I won't kill you, and we both have a good time." Sombra said.

The man sat there for a minute and then asked "What's the strongest thing ya got barkeep"

Antonio hoisted up an old clay jar labeled "Ay, Dios Mío".

The man grimaced at Sombra, and asked "Is this gonna kill me?"

Sombra chuckled and asked him what his name was.

"The name's McCree" said the man. "Nice to know ya."

Several hours later, the two staggered out of the bar, trying their best not to slip and fall over each other while laughing and firing off their weapons madly.

"Sho the plan is we go to your pad and, like, play games and what not, yeah?" slurred McCree

"Oh yeahhhh amigo… I got like starcraft and stuff back at my house so that's a good time?" replied Sombra, just as hammered as McCree was.

They walked into Sombra's small room across the Castillo courtyard as best they could in their impaired state and deposited themselves ungracefully into the two gaming chairs in front of the huge computer that held every secret that Sombra ever knew and began to play PvP Starcraft with all the seriousness of a seasoned professional. Sombra, who was without control over her hack matrix, was just as good as a normal drunk person would be. After her first loss she began cursing in spanish and in a momentary lapse of motor skills, collapsed on her PC's main box, destroying it completely. This set off another string of obscenities from her as McCree watched absentmindedly.

"Wow mang that's what I always call bad sportsmanship" chuckled McCree at his own joke.

"Hey dude, I dinnt invite you over here for you to be mean to me you know man" Sombra said, fidgeting in her seat.

McCree was not paying attention to this and he glanced over at a pile of sheets in the corner of the room and rushed over to it

"Ohoh sh-eeeet man, who's this lil' feller wow he's a cute one" said McCree, who had discovered an ancient teddy bear in the wadded mass of sheets.

"Ohhhhhhhh so that's my bestest amigo Señor Sleeby Burr" said the inebriated hacker proudly.

"Wow this is got to be like the cutest bear I ever seen I MUST get to know him better" giggled the bounty hunter."

"Ya know McCree, for a cold-blooded ex-blackwatch murderer/assassin, you are a real nice fellow" said Sombra.

"And ya know fer a cranky blackmailin' snake, you sure have good taste in bears" replied McCree.

Sombra began to get choked up.

McCree began to get choked up

They cried on each other for about thirty seconds then fell asleep.

The noise of a loud bell awoke the two, who both had the worst headaches that either had ever experienced.

McCree looked over at his watch which read 11:59.

He sighed heavily and looked around for his gunbelt.

Sombra poked her head out from the clump of sheets and sighed even more heavily.

"We both go our separate ways and never meet or talk about this ever again" groaned McCree through the headache.

"You got a deal amigo" replied Sombra

Mccree spotted his belt and revolver and still a little bit tipsy, he misjudged the distance and stepped on his gun, causing it to go off. Both of them ducked and grasped their heads in agony.

"Sorry about that, there's probably a hole in the wall now." said McCree

"Just go" said Sombra as quietly as she could manage

"Yeah but first, would ya mind? He said, gesturing at his arm.

Sombra sighed and flicked her wrist.

The gunslinger's mechanical forearm immediately lost it's purple glow and he nodded at her.

As he walked out he winced, remembering the sobbing fit they had had the night before.

Sombra spent the rest of the day sipping club soda and saltines while cursing herself about the newly made hole in her wall and her broken computer.

As McCree boarded the ship back to the mainland, he lit up a cigar and hoped it wouldn't ignite his breath while trying to piece together why the name Señor Sleepy Bear was ringing through his head and whether the last 12 hours had been a dream or an awkward memory. He could only hope it had been a surreal dream.


End file.
